


I Was Lost Without You

by MasonOtonashi



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Catching Fireflies, Derek needs to leanr how to talk, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nervous Derek, Rocket Pops, Sibling Humor, Some angst, Stiles is way too stubborn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7646353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasonOtonashi/pseuds/MasonOtonashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why?" Stiles asks. </p><p>"Because you're the reason I came back, not the reason I left."</p><p>~</p><p>Submission by Cousin Miguel</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Was Lost Without You

Derek turns to look out the window of his loft and lets out a sigh while he adjusts the sleeves of his leather jacket. After that, it doesn't take him long to get his stuff together which consists of a duffle bag filled with jars, a blanket, some snacks, and a few cans of soda.  
  
He slings the bag over his shoulder, grabs his keys and makes his way to the door. While making sure that he has everything, he looks up and glances out the window with a small frown. In a few movements, he leaves the room, locks the door, and is ready to leave.  
  
As he makes his way down to the parking lot of the building, he is greeted with the horn of his black Camaro beeping at him and Cora sitting with a smug look on her face.  
  
"Did you really have to do that?" Derek says, clearly annoyed at his sister who beeped the horn once more for no specific reason.  
  
"Yes, yes I did." Cora laughs and starts the car before driving out of the parking lot and into the street.  
  
After a few minutes of listening to Cora's obnoxious music, Derek decides he's had enough and turns it off, interrupting Cora's 'beautiful vocals' as she put it after Derek commented on her singing a while back.  
  
"Hey, I was listening to that!" Cora snaps, reaching to turn the music back on but Derek smacks her hand away.  
  
"No, I've had enough of that garbage you call music." Derek ignores Cora's protests about how she has the best taste in music and continues, "Now, do you understand what you need to do?"  
  
Cora rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed at her older brother, "Yes Derek, you have only told me about a million times."  
  
"Good, then you should have no problem repeating it to me then." Derek counters, ignoring the dirty looks he is receiving.  
  
Cora groaned in irritation before saying what Derek wants to hear. Of course, not a few seconds later does she punch his arm when she notices the smirk planted on Derek's face.  
  
"Hey! what was that for?" Derek protests, trying to get her back but Cora stops the car which makes Derek's forehead collide with the car's airbag compartment.  
  
"And that is why you should always wear your seatbelt." Cora laughs to which she continues to drive, laughing even more at the redness of Derek's forehead.  
  
"I hate you," Derek says, rubbing his forehead.  
  
Cora continues to drive, chuckling every now and then at Derek's slight frown but, she knows that it's fake because she can still tell that her brother is overflowing with nerves.  
  
"Hey, lighten up, you are making a big deal out of nothing." Cora rolls her eyes as she parks the car in front of the Sheriff's department. "I honestly don't know why you are making such a big deal out of this."  
  
Derek doesn't respond but instead makes his way to open the door but is stopped by Cora who quickly turns on the safety lock.  
  
"C'mon Derek, I've never seen you this nervous since you went out with-" Cora stops and looks at Derek, actually looking at Derek and lets out a sigh once she realizes how much this really means to him.  
  
"You know what," Cora says.  
  
"What?" Derek asks, slightly confused.  
  
"If he is stupid enough to not forgive you, then I will personally make sure that he has no choice other than forgiving you," Cora says, popping her knuckles to add more emphasis.  
  
"Thanks." Derek gives her a small smile.  
  
"Don't worry, I got you back, now go! Get out!" Cora laughs, starting the car once more but stops when she notices that Derek isn't nervous.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" Cora asks, confused.  
  
"You forgot to unlock the door," Derek says, motioning towards the lock on the door.  
  
Cora stares at him blankly or a second, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. "Oh yeah, that, I'm sorry. Let me get that for you."  
  
With that, she unlocks the door and watches as Derek hesitates before finally stepping out.  
  
"You know the plan right!?" He calls ask Cora beings to drive out.  
  
"Yes Derek, I know the plan. Now go!" Cora calls before finally heading out.  
  
Derek makes his way to the entrance of the Sheriff's Department and walks in, quickly spotting Stiles sitting on a bench scrolling through his phone.  
  
"Stiles!"  
  
~  
Thirty minutes earlier.  
~  
  
"I honestly don't know why I agreed to this. Let me remind you that _he_ is the one that left _me_ and not the other way around. Why should I be punished even more for all of this?" Stiles complains to Scott on the phone while he rummages through the files in his dad's office.  
  
"Stiles, let me remind you that _you're_ the one that agreed to this. If anything, you're the one to blame. Plus, why are you making such a big deal out of this? All summer you wouldn't stop saying 'I miss Derek' and 'When is Derek coming back?' Yet, the moment he comes back and offers to settle things, you can't stop complaining about how you 'Don't want to see him' and 'There is no way you can face him,' what the hell man?" Scott rolls his eyes as he finishes, hoping that that was enough to make his best friend stop complaining.  
  
"You just don't get it, this is Derek-freaking-Hale we are talking about." Stiles closes the drawers he's been looking through and quickly begins to make himself comfortable in his dad's chair. "You know, the guy that never shows emotion. This is so unlike him."  
  
"I also know that the Derek Hale you are referring to is the same Derek Hale that has saved your life a number of times. Not only that, but he is also the Derek Hale that you fawn over whenever he is in the room. But hey, you know more about him than any of us so what do I know?" Scott finishes, standing up when he hears a knocking at his door.  
  
"Hey, I don't 'fawn' over him. But, seriously, this is so unlike him." Stiles groans when he hears Allison on the other end. "That better not be Allison."  
  
"Hey, Stiles," Allison says, chuckling.  
  
"You aren't going to pester me about how I'm making a huge deal out of the are you?" Stiles asks, rubbing his temples.  
  
"As a matter of, I am," Allison laughs. "I'm kidding but-"  
  
"But what?" Stiles cuts her off.  
  
"But you should at least try to give Derek the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's changed, you don't know," Allison says, taking a seat in Scott's computer chair. "Plus, if things go well, you might not have to worry about him leaving again."  
  
"You just saying that because you don't want to hear me complain anymore." Stiles protests, shifting in his dad's office chair.  
  
"Maybe," Allison chuckles.  
  
Stiles lets out a sigh before getting up from his dad's chair before making his way to the exit.  
  
"Well, before you guys get a chance to tell me how much of a drama queen I'm being, I gonna go." He's about to hang up when he hears Lydia's voice on the other end.  
  
"Yup, definitely gonna go. Talk to you guys later. Bye!" With that, Stiles hangs up and makes his way to the bench that directly across the department's entrance so that if Derek walks in they can leave without catching anyone's attention.  
  
He takes a seat and begins to scroll through his phone, looking at pictures of him and his friends hanging out together until he stumbles onto one of him and Derek sitting on the couch in the loft. In Stiles' opinion, it's one of the best selfies he has ever taken and also one of the best pictures of Derek. On a normal day it would make him smile but today, all it does is make him even more nervous than he already is.  
  
He continues to look at the picture even as he hears the doors of the entrance being opened, it isn't until he hears his name being called does he look up.  
  
"Stiles!"  
  
~  
  
Derek smiles softly at Stiles's confusion but quickly replaces it with a smirk once Stiles is looking directly at him. With that, he motions his hand towards the door and watches as Stiles walks up to him, not once breaking eye contact.  
  
Derek then moves to hold open the door but is surprised when Stiles wraps his arms around him, bring Derek into an embrace.  
  
Instead of pushing Stiles away, he wraps one arm around him and leads the two of them outside.  
  
"You ready to go?" Derek asks once Stiles lets go.  
  
"Yup," Stiles says, looking around or Derek's car. "Where's your car?"  
  
"I didn't bring it," Derek says, leading Stiles to the sidewalk.  
  
"What, why?" Stiles asks, looking at Derek, confused.  
  
"Well, I thought that walking would be a good way to just talk and sort things out," Derek says, not looking at Stiles but instead looking straight ahead at the upcoming street.  
  
"Oh really?" Stiles asked, even more confused than before but, this time, a little bit more observant.  
  
"What?" Derek asks, stopping once they reach the crosswalk to which he then presses the button to signal that they are going to cross.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. It's just that, I don't believe that that is the whole reason." Stiles says as they both cross the street.  
  
Derek rolls his eyes and continues to lead Stiles down the path while he comes up with a response but instead decides to be honest because a happy Stiles is better than an angry Stiles or an upset one.  
  
With a short sigh, Derek says, "Fine, you caught me. Part of the reason why we are waking is because it is the best way to keep you from causing a scene."  
  
Stiles just stares at him, clearly thrown back by Derek's words to which he quickly begins to protest.  
  
"Since when have I been known to cause a scene!" Stiles exclaims, causing more than a few people to turn and look at him.  
  
"Yes, I am aware that I am causing a scene right now," Stiles says, looking down at the gray pavement of the sidewalk.  
  
Derek chuckles, stopping Stiles from walking on the road since the teen refuses to look up. He then presses the button and waits patiently for both Stiles to look up and the light to turn green so that they can continue walking.  
  
"Okay, I understand now but, you had no right to assume anything about me," Stiles argues, this time looking up at Derek to make sure that he gets his point across.  
  
"Point taken then." Derek chuckles and leads Stiles across the road to which they continue to walk in silence.  
  
The two of them continued to walk, making small talk every now and then and both of the avoiding the main reason why they are even here in the first place. Neither of the wanting to ruin the pleasant mood between them.  
  
"Hey, look, ice cream!" Stiles exclaims, cutting Derek off mid-sentence.  
  
Derek then turns to look at the direction in which Stiles was pointing towards and smiles when Stiles begin to rush towards the small ice cream cart.  
  
"Oooh, they have rocket pops," Stiles exclaims once more, crouching down so that he can take a closer look at the different pictures of ice cream, each one more colorful than the next.  
  
"What are 'rocket pops?'" Derek asks, looking down at the picture Stiles is pointing to.  
  
"Their rocket shaped ice cream pops that happen to be colored red, white, and blue," Stiles says, taking on a serious tone.  
  
"Well someone knows their ice cream," Derek says, reaching for his wallet. "You want one?"  
  
"Uh, Yeah!" Stiles smiles brightly, embarrassment completely thrown out the window.  
  
"Okay then," Derek says, clearly taken back by Stiles' reaction but, quickly shrugs it away as he turns towards to vendor.  
  
"Can I have one of those 'rocket pops', please," Derek says, trying to focus his attention on the vendor. After taking out a five dollar bill, he decides that he wants one too.  
  
The vendor simply stares at the two of them and, keeping his thoughts to himself, takes Derek's money, reaches for the two ice cream pops, and makes sure to give Derek his change.  
  
"Thanks," Derek says, taking the two ice cream pops but, before he could hand one over to the excited teen, Stiles automatically takes it out of his hand, ready to tear it open.  
  
"You're welcome." The vendor says, turning to the woman and child standing behind the two.  
  
Derek then grabs Stiles by the sleeve of his red jacket and starts to drag him off. Of course, Stiles doesn't protest as he is completely fixated on the perfection of his 'rocket pop.'  
  
Once Derek is sure that Stiles can walk on his own, he lets him go and opens his own 'rocket pop' which had already started to melt. He then looks at it for a few seconds before taking a bite out of it to which he notices Stiles looking at him, a frown on his face.  
  
"What?" Derek says, ready to take another bite.  
  
"Why would you take a bite out of it? You're supposed to lick it." Stiles argues, clearly disturbed by the way Derek is eating his ice cream. "Seriously, you are exactly like Scott. You both clearly don't know how to enjoy the perfect that is a 'rocket pop.'"  
  
Derek rolls his eyes and makes sure to take a bite when Stiles looks back up at him and laughs when another frown forms on the teen's face.  
  
They both stay silent as they continue to walk and eat their ice cream, Stiles still clearly disturbed by what he had just witnessed. It isn't until Stiles is halfway done with his own ice cream that he finally says something.  
  
"I know we've both been avoiding it but we've been walking for almost two hours and you still haven't told me why you left in the first place," Stiles says, looking down at his ice cream, not wanting to look at Derek.  
  
Derek then looks down at Stiles and sighs but, decides to stay quiet and hear Stiles out.  
  
"I mean, before you say anything, you can't just tell me that you had some shit to work out because that's the same excuse you used last time." Stiles then looks up from his ice cream and up at the sky that is now tinted with orange and pink from the setting sun. "Not only that but don't even both trying to come up with an excuse for why you didn't call or at least text me."  
  
Derek still doesn't say anything but, he does notice the way that the teen's eyes begin to gloss over with tears. It hurts him inside but his mouth refuses to say anything.  
  
"Like I was telling Scott earlier, you were the one that left me yet, you made me feel like it was my fault." Stiles then looks back down at his ice cream as it begins to melt in his hand. "When you left, the first thing that crossed my mind was that I was the reason you left."  
  
Derek listens carefully to what Stiles is saying, taking in each and every word, all of which send a sharp pain into his chest. When he left, he never thought about how it would affect Stiles but, at the same time, it wasn't like he never thought about it. After all, he did read through all of Stiles' texts and listen to all of his voicemails but, he never truly paid attention to Stiles' feelings. Yet, even now, he can't bring himself to say anything.  
  
"Was it really my fault?" Stiles asks, still not looking up at Derek. "Can you at least let me know that much? And if I'm not the reason you left, can you tell me why? Tell me, Derek, why did you leave?"  
  
Derek doesn't say anything and neither does Stiles, they both just stay silent for what seems like an hour while the two of them scream what they want to say inside their mind. Neither of them having the courage to say what they want to say.  
  
Isn't until they are a few blocks away from the trail that Derek takes the liberty of throwing his and Stiles' trash away that Derek says, "I don't know."  
  
Stiles stops in his tracks, looking down at the pavement, his legs refusing to keep walking.  
  
"Stiles," Derek says, turning back to look at the teen that stands only a few feet away from him. Yet, he doesn't attempt to get any closer to the teen that is now shaking and it isn't until he takes another good look at Stiles that he realizes that the teen is crying.  
  
"Derek, I didn't agree to this for you to tell me that you 'don't know.'" Stiles says, looking up and at Derek who is looking right back at him. "Is talking to me so hard that you can't even give me a reasonable response. If you wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go as far as to bring me in public and have people watch as I pour my heart out."  
  
Derek mutters a quick, "I'm sorry" which was a mistake the moment he opened his mouth as it only seemed to upset the teen even more.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm Sorry! Is that all you have to say!? Here I was, waiting for you, for six months, wishing upon the day that you'd get back and all you have to say is 'I'm sorry.' No Derek, I need a real answer!" Stiles cries, not taking his eyes off Derek who was still standing a few feet away from him.  
  
Derek doesn't say anything and instead, he looks back at Stiles, hoping that the teen could calm down so that he could get his thoughts together until he finally decides to say something.  
  
"Why?" Derek asks, stepping closer to Stiles who is still looking Directly at him.  
  
"What?" Stiles wipes away his tears, confusion not taking over his face as he doesn't understand what Derek is trying to say.  
  
"You said earlier that you spent your time waiting for me to come back so I'm asking why? Why were you waiting for me?" Derek asks, this time making sure that he is now standing directly in front of the teen who is now looking up at him.  
  
"Because I-" Stiles stops and tries to get his thoughts together, clearly thrown back by what Derek was asking him, especially since he hadn't expected him to say anything along those lines. It then takes him a few seconds before he gains enough confidence to say what he wants to say.  
  
"Because I care about you. No, I care deeply about you." Stiles says, his cheeks turning a darker shade of red.  
  
Derek smiles softly at that before saying what he needs to say. It isn't until he opens his mouth to say something that he realizes nothing is coming out. He then takes in Stiles' words and finally realizes that the teen actually cares for him. Not like all the other people who have manipulated him in the past and told him the same thing. For the first time, in a long time, he realizes that standing before him is some who sincerely cares for him and that sends a completely different feeling through his chest. No, multiple different feelings through his chest, all of which are connected with guilt.  
  
He then looks at Stiles, reading the teen's face carefully to make sure that he isn't lying to himself. It takes him a few seconds to realize that what Stiles had said was true. The teen did care for him.  
  
Derek then abruptly wraps his arms around Stiles, bring him into a hug, startling Stiles for a brief second.  
  
"What are you-" Derek cuts Stiles off.  
  
"The reason I left was because I thought that there was nothing left for me here. That there was no reason for me to stay." Derek says, letting go of Stiles slightly so that he his face is directly facing Stiles'. He then smiles at the teen before speaking. "I left thinking that there was nothing that could keep me here yet, it wasn't until I noticed that you were the only one that actually tried to stay connected with me. Why do you think I'm only trying to get things sorted out with you and not everyone else?"  
  
"Why?" Stiles asks, looking directly into Derek's eyes while trying his best not completely fall into Derek's arms.  
  
"Because you're the reason I came back, not the reason I left."  
  
Before Stiles could say anything, Derek pressed his lips against his and brought the teen closer. They then both closed their eyes and enjoyed it for as long as they could until they had to break apart to breathe.  
  
"Wow," Stiles says, looking up into Derek's eyes, smiling softly.  
  
Derek smiled down and brought a brought his hand up from Stiles' waist and used his thumb to dry the remaining tears that lingered on stiles' cheek.  
  
"Hold on, I need to call Cora," Derek says after a few more moments of just staring into Stiles's eyes.  
  
"Why do you need to call Cora.?"  
  
"Let's just say that forcing you to walk five miles wasn't my goal to this date," Derek says, letting go of Stiles so that he can grab his phone and dial Cora.  
  
"Oh really, what else could you have in mind?" Stiles asks, staring at Derek, confused but, before anything else, it takes him a ew moments to realize what Derek had just said. "Wait? This is a date!?"  
  
Derek simply lifts a finger telling Stiles to wait a second.  
  
"Is everything set up?" Derek asks Cora on the phone and out of what Stiles could make out, Cora was telling Derek off.  
  
"I know but, everything took longer than intended," Derek says, clearly trying to calm his sister.  
  
"Well you better hurry up then," Cora says on the other end, clearly annoyed.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm on my way," Derek says before hanging up.  
  
"Come on, we need to hurry or Cora's gonna kill both of us," Derek says grabbing Stiles' hand.  
  
Before he could respond, Stiles is being dragged by dark along the road and into the forest. They are both sprinting and Stiles already finds it hard to breathe. He takes out his inhaler from his pocket and takes a big whiff while also trying to catch up to Derek.  
  
As they both continue to sprint through the forest, Stiles notices the fireflies that are beginning to shine through the forest and can't help but smile through his panting.  
  
After a few more minutes of now half jogging/half Stiles being carried on Derek's back, they finally make it to the cliff that Scott brought Allison on all of their 'late night dates.'  
  
"We're here," Derek says, dropping Stiles who was now struggling to get his jacket off.  
  
"Thanks to you, I'm covered in sweat," Stiles says, finally removing his red jacket and placing it on the ground. "How are you not sweating?"  
  
"Werewolf run for a living. I've mastered the art of not sweating." Derek says with a smirk, walking towards the blanket that he told his sister to set up. He then makes sure that the jars are in place along with the basket of food that he told Cora to set up.  
  
"Shut up," Stiles says, walking over Derek who was now sitting on the blanket looking through a picnic basket. "Oooh is that a picnic basket, I'm starving."  
  
Stiles begins to make his way to the basket, only to be stopped by Derek's groan.  
  
"What? What's wrong?" Stiles asks, puzzled by Derek's reaction towards the picnic basket.  
  
Derek frowns at the picnic basket that only contained two cans of soda and a note left by his sister. He then turned to look at Stiles and handed him the note, a frown still planted on his face.  
  
Stiles took the note began to read it while trying to concentrate on the piece of paper through his heavy breathing.  
  
_'Derek,_  
  
_You made me wait here for two hours so the least you could do to repay me for wasting my time is let me have all the snacks that you packed. But, since I am one of the nicest people you know, I replaced the duffle bag with a basket. I hope you enjoy the last to cans of coke I left you. Good luck._  
  
_-Cora'_  
  
"Dude, I'm totally gonna kill your sister after this," Stiles says, crumpling up the note with his hands before throwing it to the side.  
  
"Not if I kill her first," Derek says, taking out the two cans of coke and tosses one to Stiles who almost drops it.  
  
Derek laughs at that before popping his can of soda open and taking a huge gulp out of it. He then lifts the can up to Stiles to which the teen mimicks.  
  
"To totally going to get Cora back after this," Stiles says, chuckling as he cheers with Derek.  
  
Derek just smiles at the teen and looks off into the distance, admiring the lights of the town below them well, he was until Stiles interrupted him.  
  
"There are so many fireflies out tonight," Stiles says looking around them, watching in awe as the fireflies flicker all around them.  
  
"Well, I did plan for this," Derek says, reaching for the jars that were laid out next to the picnic basket.  
  
"You what?" Stiles asks, confused until he sees Derek pulling out two glass jars with lids covered in tiny holes. "You did not!"  
  
"Yes I did," Derek says, handing a jar to Stiles who grabs it hesitantly.  
  
Stiles looks longingly at the jar before looking up at Derek. "I haven't gone firefly hunting since I was eight with Scott and, I never thought that I would be doing that ever again, especially with you, Derek Hale."  
  
Derek laughs at that and stands up, holding a hand out to Stiles. Stiles stares at Derek's hand and then back at the jar. He smiles down at the jar for a second before grabbing Derek's hand and joining him at his side.  
  
"Now, what do you say me and you have a friendly competition of who catches the most," Stiles says. "And the loser has to buy the other lunch tomorrow."  
  
"Is this just an excuse to go on another date with me?" Derek asks, smirking.  
  
"Maybe," Stiles says, sticking his tongue out.  
  
"Well then, let's go," Derek says, running off.  
  
"No fair!" Stiles says, running off in a different direction.  
  
After about an hour of running around and failing to capture any of these god damn fireflies, Derek decides to sneak up on Stiles who was currently jumping around trying to capture the tiny insects.  
  
Derek waits patiently as he watches Stiles follow another one of the fireflies and the moment Stiles has his back towards him, he pounces on the teen, wrapping his arms around his waist, forcing Stiles to drop his glass jar, releasing all the fireflies he had already caught, well, the two fireflies that he caught.  
  
"Hey, what was that for!?" Stiles exclaims but, he doesn't try to get out of Derek's hold on him.  
  
"I don't know, just wanted to tell you something," Derek says, breathing softly against the back of Stiles' neck, causing Stiles to blush.  
  
"And what would that be?" Stiles asks, smiling.  
  
"I love you." Derek's words take Stiles by surprise, making his eye's gloss over with tears. The only people that have told him that have been his dad, Scott, and... his mom.  
  
Derek loosens his grip on Stiles when he doesn't get a response and starts to feel bad and prepares to apologize but those feeling are completely thrown to the side when Stiles turns around and presses his lips against Derek's. They kiss for what seems like hours but is only for a few seconds until Stiles breaks the kiss and looks Derek in the eyes.  
  
"I love you too and don't you ever leave me again," Stiles says, tears falling from his eyes. "Promise me that you'll never leave me."  
  
"Don't worry, next time I leave, I'll make sure to bring you with me, I promise," Derek says, smiling down at Stiles, raising a hand to wipe away the teen's tears.  
  
"Thank you," Stiles says, this time wrapping his own arms around Derek, bring him close, his face pressing into the fabric of Derek's leather jacket. Derek then wraps his arms tighter around Stiles, holding him close so that Stiles know that no one can take him away from him.  
  
They both continue to hold each other, even as the moon begins to shine bright above them and they don't care because all that matters is that their together and nothing was going to change that.

 


End file.
